I joined the Alpha weekend away camp being very broken in many aspects, with a soft and empty heart, had repented and accepted Christ. I write more at:

• The Spiritual Quest… to Brokenness

I was quite eager and curious to find out more about the Holy Spirit whom had lifted me up to see Jesus. For the first day of the camp we learnt about the Holy Spirit.

After dinner we continued learning about the Holy Spirit. I remember when the video was playing I was already tearing quite a lot. I had to go to the toilet as I was a little embarrassed. In the toilet I continued to tear. I think what was happening was that the Holy Spirit was beginning to work in me.

After the video, we started worshipping. Naturally the songs about the Holy Spirit, the atmosphere of worship and my soft heart continued allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me. We sat down in a big circle, closed our eyes as the Pastor invited those who would like to be prayed for to raise their hands. I later found out I was the first to raise my hand and my wife was the second.

As the prayer ministers came to lay hands and lead me through prayers and also to pray for me, I was immediately sobbing like a baby for quite a long while. The posture of heart at this point continues to be repentance and in my mind it was a mix bag. Quite a lot of hesitation and some worries of the possibilities of physical manifestation. At the same time I have a lingering thought of what if I cannot receive the Holy Spirit? 

Nonetheless the mind does not really matter as the Holy Spirit continued to fill me and work in me. From this sobbing state of repentance, I became laughing and laughing though it still sounded like crying. In my mind how I best described it was: a stern and loving father had scolded me and I was sorry and sobbing. The father then forgave, showed me love and started to make me laugh. I felt like that and that’s why physically I was laughing and joyful.

Prayer ministers prayed for the gift of tongues. I was a bit hesitant and scared but had decided to “embrace” it. At the end, I didn’t think I was given gift of tongues. (The next day one of the prayer ministers told me he is very sure I have received the gift of tongues.. And I’m like.. oh really? I still don’t believe but do yearn for it)

This day I was baptized in the Holy Spirit.

The next day was quite peaceful and uneventful from what I remembered. I was just trying to digest in my mind what I had experienced the night before with the people at the camp. Some people were uncomfortable at some of the  physical manifestations the night before. Some were very curious.

For me, I was against such things and were fearful of such manifestations. However it happened to me and I began to get a glimpse of the Kingdom of Heaven and the reality of the spiritual realm.