30 Dec Household Chores Are Done Unto The Lord
Festive seasons are filled with gatherings with peers and old friends. Many of my ex-classmates and ex-colleagues are high-flyers. At my age, many are very advanced in their careers. Topics are often around careers, properties, investments, primary schools etc. When people are talking about who is made CEO, Partners and MDs, I cannot help but feels like a failure. Yet I also know that Jesus Christ the messiah, creator of heavens and earth, looked like a total failure according to world’s standards when he was nailed to the cross.
When people are talking about their 2nd or 3rd property and whether ABSD is worth the investment etc, and I have a deferred HDB mortgage with nothing in my CPF account and nothing in my bank account, I cannot help but have thoughts that God, by giving you my body, soul, spirit and every aspects of my life, by following you whole-heartedly, I have “lagged” so far behind. Yes I do understand and know it all. I know that God’s promises never fail, that all riches belong to you Abba, that you love me so much that you gave your only begotten son to die for my sins and I tear whenever I’m reminded of your love and mercy. Yet the flesh is weak and I do feel this walk in the wilderness is very hard and lonely. Through it I get a glimpse of how Lord you must have felt when you walked 40 days in the wilderness.
By night I was physically and spiritually exhausted. Just when all I wanted was to go to bed and rest in Christ, I was told that the laundry needs to be hung out. My son tells me: “Papi, you are indeed a helper with a laugh”. And I wonder.. God you gave me so many things to do, some are huge things. I have no resources, no money, no people. And then there’s the small and mundane things. We have little help as a family. We do almost everything ourselves. A little sense of frustration creeps up.
I “will” myself to hang the clothes, it was hard cos the thoughts of self-pity ring in my head. And so every piece of clothes I hung up, I bow and said “unto the Lord”, “unto the Lord”, “unto the Lord”. In the smallest things, I work unto the Lord and I went to bed.
We have to will ourselves to look at God and turn from our flesh.
Posture of the heart
Lord we are in the world but not of the world. I want to turn and look towards you, discipline myself to pick up the cross and follow you.