14 Jun Out Of Money Again; Romans 5:3-4
14 June 2022
Out of money again, Not sure how to pay bills and salary. Wife is more intently leaning into God, seeking Him. God is clearly also speaking and ministering to wife. I had numerous conversations with Abba whether I should sell car, sell house etc etc. also tempted (again) to find job or part time jobs. So far Abba is very consistent in saying “no need”.
Separately wife told God that she will sell her Chanel. The moment she said that, God told her “no need”, I just wanted your heart.
A sister wanted to lend us money. We both immediately sensed that this is not really God’s ways. We were down to very low levels of resources many times but we have never really gone into debt. We were both like, “if we had to borrow money, I could have just sold car and house”. God doesn’t require us to go into debt in the way that the world sometimes does.
In corporate prayers, I told my employee I may not be able to pay him salary this month. This is quite crazy but as God led, I told him. We had hours and hours of fellowship. Really thankful God chose this brother to be my colleague in this season. I always feel very lonely in this walk. Often especially lonely in church where we see regular Christians go about their lives and no one really understands the journey we are on. The only few persons I lament to, be understood by and be encouraged by includes this brother. God is good.
The verse is Romans 5:3-4 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.
And this was exactly the verse that says well what I was trying to describe to colleague when he asked how I feel spiritually now. We are put through some kind of suffering, and we need to perserve to gaze at Christ and away from the world and self, to be trained in character, so that our proven character points to Christ as our hope and points others to Christ as the only true hope.
13 Sep 2022
Felt really tired of this life of no financial stability and no money. I really wish I can get some side income. I just tell God this genuine feeling. And pray He lead me in the way He wants, and give strength for me to continue walking.
3 Oct 2022
Was a bit worried as we are out of money again.
This time round, I lived out and practiced Watchman Nee’s posture of Sit, Walk, Stand. As I practiced my position as being seated with Christ in the heavenlies, looking down on my own life, I stand firm on the faithfulness of Christ and His power and authority.
I feel that my faith muscles have strengthened again and I feel totally at peace, having this full confidence in the faithfulness of Christ.
The most (or only) question is, am I on God’s side? Not whether God will do this or that, or whether God is for us or enemy. (Joshua 6)
It’s whether we are on God’s side, seated with Christ in the heavenlies. If we are then there is nothing to be worried about.
11 Oct 2022
We have been here financially so many times in this wilderness journey and our faith is really tried and tested more and more. This time round, I feel very peaceful though we have very little money. Our trust in God’s provision is very high. Maybe not 100% trust but very high. Wife is ok too. We are both surprised ourselves that our faith is quite high this time.
2 Dec 2022
This post is about running out of money but with God, the other side is His provision.
This time God really stretched us to the last dollar last min.
A brother had committed to invest a sum of money and I was waiting for the cash to hit the bank account. Somehow his phone crashed, bank features not working, this and that. Meanwhile we were quite chill though we have no money to pay salary. In the end the money hit my bank on 30 Nov 2022 near 6pm. Wow.. last min for me to make payroll!
Last min last dollar but we were quite chill!!!
Today had a long and good fellowship with two believers and the most amazing thing was after one of them left. The other mentor figure told me Lord asked her to invest in the venture, she felt the amount was too small and not sure if it’s useful. Straight away I showed her a deck which I prepared quite a while ago when the Lord told me to reduce the ticket size of investment to X dollars, which was exactly the amount Lord asked her to invest! Immediately she asked for bank account. Fastest deal ever, no pitching, 2 minutes, Done deal.